Thursday, March 24, 2011

Passed Away

- March 23, 2011 7.36 AM. In my room. It's raining heavily outside. -

Tuesday evening in the office. I was working in front of my notebook when I got a text message from my bro. My grandma passed away. In a blink of an eye, my mind flew nowhere. "A month ago I met her, now I have no chance to meet her again."

My grandma underwent a diabetes since few years ago. She lost one leg because of this disease. Once she was ever in the worst health condition. Everyone was in the hospital to be ready for the worst. So was I. I thought she would leave us that time. I regret that I didn't put my faith on her that time. She recovered eventually. She danced. She sang. She was passionate about life. She overcome death. One of my notes 2 years ago showed how impressed I was with her passion about life. I really was.

But she left us yesterday. Eventually.

She is one of the most important people in life for my family. When I was ten, we moved to Jakarta and lived with her. We had no money. We took risk to build our life peace by peace. We left Palembang with faith that life would be better in mega city. The laughter. The time we spent together. The love of grandma to her grandchildren. The time when I was hiding from her when she got mad.

Now I am at 29th floor of my apartment. It is raining outside. I am supposed to have off site with friends in Hua Hin but I chose to stay to prepare for my trip back to Jakarta.

Life isn't waiting for us when we get there. It's happening right now. With the death of my grandma, I learn that every second of my life is destined for something. For a reason. To be thankful for one more day to live. To express gratitude for all flavors I never know existed. For realization that people come to life and go leaving us in a blink of an eye.

I stay grateful.
Sent via BlackBerry® from AIS

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Baby Steps for Today

Nobody can predict the future. Your husband might leave you. You might come to your doctor and got a cancer diagnose. You might unintentionally throw your blackberry onto the road and broke it into pieces. Your Feb 14th might be the day your girlfriend cheated. You might come to office on Monday morning, excitedly, and your boss said that your masterpiece was a crap. You’ve been proud of your wedding but you might find it came to an end.

When that bad news punches you on your face, you always have two options. Take a baby step for today to choose the right attitude.

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Sunday, January 02, 2011

2011 is a mind blowing and full of discoveries year!

Recently human has just made mind blowing, once-in-a-lifetime discovery that one of the Saturn moons, Enceladus, could harbor life. The towering ice water erupting from the South Pole was the first sign viewed by Cassini spacecraft. It started the journey to Enceladus. Later on the team found interesting fact that may answer question if there’s another life there outside the earth.

Under the surface of the moon, team has found there is ocean and internal heat source that cause eruption. It also contains salty water, complex organic compounds which may supply energy to life. Imagine one day we make the voyage to the geyser of Enceladus. Just because it’s only about time. Just because we can.

Human is created for discovery from time to time. I have discovered 2010 was a year of full discoveries. That I finally could stand on the surfing board. That I finally moved to the place where I always wanted to live. That I finally improved the way I see life – positive rather than negative. Life is gratitude; and we’re all the master peace of it.

And 2011 for sure will bring more discoveries to my life. I hope it will too to yours. I am sitting here in my couch, looking at the first night sky after new year and writing an important note which may be a come-back for more notes after dormant period; I see 2011 will be legendary!

Happy Now Year 2011 everyone!

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What bad things happen to your life today?

"The only thing that grows from cultivating any dark seed of sorrow is more bitter fruit." -- Guy Finley


I have learn today that being positive and acceptive is so much fulfilling than being grumpy and denial.

Things happen naturally in life. The same thing applies to bad things. You name it. Brokenhearts happen. Bad news happen. Traffic just happen. And the best approach toward it should be just be with it, follow it and adjust self.

Mother earth never fails to put smile on people face when they have positive attitude against bad days. Bad day is just it. It's bad when we think it's bad. It's natural and it's perfect, as perfect as good day, depending on how we see it. Troubles are natural, as natural as being naked when we take shower. The day you fell in love was just as natural as the day you got dumped.

Life isn't waiting when you get there. It's happening right now. Don't expect better life unless you see the now is natural, if not perfect.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Let’s Face It. Some Days Are Bad.

This is fact of life. Some days are bad that make you walk sluggishly. When you felt that people you love disappoint you. When somebody you trust so much kills you slowly at your back. When you think you have done your best but people always say that you’re not good enough.

Thing is, at the same time, some days are full of happiness that you make you want to have it 24 hours of your life. You don’t want to let it go. Even for a second. When people you love make a surprise for you, sending you a thank you note that makes your day. When somebody you hate so much stands for you when you’re cornered. When you think what you did was disaster but they said that you have done your best!

There are always ups and down that make you feel that, yea it’s just life.

Nothing too serious to think about.

This week I learn so much on how to live in present. I have been quite busy, occupied with lots of work to do. I started in the morning hoping that I could go out at night. Or even just having good time in my room with ‘Two and A Half Man’. I could hardly do it. Even weekend is so worrying for me.

This is the same feeling I got every time I felt so excited and challenged about something. After 1 month in Bangkok, I now can start feeling stillness inside me. I am perfectly fine.

Being in stillness is great. It makes me feel secure. And being in present makes me enjoy life at every blink of an eye. Even when Paul Octopus was right when my favorite team lost. I could still feel that was okay. I let go.

Here I am in my room. Somewhere in the middle of Kuala Lumpur. I can see the how laid back this city from my room. Stillness is here. I can see some cars going home. Or, sorry maybe I’m totally wrong. Some cars start the journey to somewhere in the middle of the night. That’s bad life.

And some people really come and go.

This week I feel so down, knowing the fact that one of my good friend’s wife has gone. I can’t say anything but sorry for what happened to him. I wish I could do more. And knowing the fact that I cannot do anything is totally unwell. I hope he’s perfectly fine.

It’s life. Jakarta is waiting for me this weekend.

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Saturday, July 10, 2010


Let’s face it. Some people are really different. Some point of view is not what you think they should be. And at every blink of your eyes you may see different thing in life. That is the beauty of life.

A Japanese guy in one of the roads in America got lost. He asked someone the name of the block where he was standing on. That American guy said that it was a block surrounded by road 1 and road 2. That Japanese guy did not understand.

An American coming to Japan asked someone when he got lost. He asked the name of the road he was standing on. That Japanese guy said it was a road between block 1 and 2. That American guy did not understand.

That stupid misunderstanding happened because there is no block name in America and there is no road name in Japan. There is road name in America as well as there is block name in Japan. It’s just as simple as we don’t know it.

There’s flipside of everything.

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Wednesday, July 07, 2010

The Mystery of Tomorrow

If I have chance to choose which part of my life that I want to see the most, I want to choose tomorrow. It’s not myself at 35 or 60 I really want to see. I am not interested at all.

What I want to see is what I am going to eat tomorrow. Will it be good? Will it be the same food I had today? And will I meet the same people? And will I face the same business issue? Well, life is moving and I am really curious how I see new things everyday.

I am person who usually think of the future instead of the past. It’s more interesting to see new things than bringing my imagination back to, say, 5 years ago. It was something, but I just don’t want to regret on something and wishing I could turn back the time. Being in the tomorrow is more interesting. And maybe that’s why I am quite forgetful – I think too much about the future and how interesting every second tomorrow will be.

Today is the future of my past. I couldn’t imagine before that I would be here, sitting in the sofa and typing this note whilst relaxing. From the window of my apartment, I could see how cheerful Bangkok night sky is. And I enjoy every second and every letter I type here. I enjoy every joke guys talking about in “How I Met Your Mother”.

Hopefully tomorrow will be exciting. At least it will be new thing.

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Sunday, July 04, 2010

Lazy Ass

This morning I woke up sluggishly. This is the first time I woke up without pressure I need to do things. Being in the condition that so many things you need to do, you are always in the rush. This weekend I manage myself not to be in the rush all the time. I try to relax instead. And sleeping for 9 hours is such a blessing for me.

I am lazy.

Being grateful when you are at ease is easy. Most of people can sit back, enjoy coffee and be grateful. Being grateful at difficult time or when you’re in the rush, it’s another thing. There’s such a barrier to do so. When you can overcome the barrier and start speaking grateful language, that’s when you’re really sure that your life is in peace.

This is the first month I am in Bangkok; the city where I always wanted to be. Life’s here is good. Yet if I compare it with when I was in Jakarta, it’s totally different. I can’t sill find the right balance on everything. Saying words full of grateful helps a lot.

The place is here. The time is now. And the future is in our hands.

How do you rejuvenate yourself?

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Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Heartbeat of Small City

Yesterday I surfed up like no more days to live and whilst enjoying being on top of the surfboard, my body was brought to the ocean by the current. Trying so hard to kiss the beach line; I knew that it would be like pain in my ass. And I was stucked far away from the beach line for some time.

I felt a bit worried about swimming all night long with my surfboard. It was 6 PM something and the sun already did its everyday to-do-list of performing twelve hours dancing. I started to wave my hands; expecting surfer fellas to see (hopefully come to me; with them being aware at least made me feel better) me struggling. My heart beat like the heartbeat of the small city in the south coast of Java.

It was the same feeling when I fell beneath Musi river. I felt afraid.

Finally I made it myself to the beach line. Luckily there was a big wave coming from my back; one of the biggest for a beginner like me, and I ride it. I made it though. The thing is there is always a good thing behind the bad thing.

OFF to Singapore.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Dessert of Thought

I have not been writing quite some time. My dead mind can't go anywhere else but onto the dessert of thought. Freshness I expected to come didn't come and I started feeling that I need to relax a bit.

My days are great. I am just a bit busy with the job I love so much (seriously). Party days never end like I am in Ibiza. It's just an everyday life. You know what I mean. And now after being mentally exhausted after office hours, I still push myself to work out, tortured by my personal trainer. At least I lost weight 3 kgs now.

Today I want to be grateful for a very relaxing day. Long weekend is always like everyday breakfast for many Jakartans; they go on vacation, leaving Jakarta as if doing exodus out of polluted air and being in fresh air of rural area. Some are being beach bum. They take swim suit and show to fishes that they got sexy body. And they take surf board to stand on it, feeling like they are kings of the ocean. Good to see them out of routine and being grateful for their life.

And I am very happy that Jakarta is so quiet today. Afternoon rain was like a blessing to my day! Sitting in Starbucks and doing some works; my mind goes like an automated machine producing masterpiece in the state of mindfulness.

I find it's good to relax a bit, take some coffee and spend time with ladies in MO to charge myself. For a better day!

Sleep well, everyone!