Tuesday, March 17, 2009


"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it." C. P. Snow, English novelist & scientist (1905 - 1980)

One day in this week, my feet took me to the nursery room, a quiet place at the corner of my office. Most of the time it's free, people just come into the room and use it. I prefer call it as room with freedom. People just come and go, rarely spend too long inside it. This room is a place of reflection. So special and personal.

The room has nice sofa inside. At the center of it, there's round table with some chairs. White board hanging on the wall. The glass windows are placed at the corner, two ways side that we have 180 degrees view of skyscrapers standing from Sudirman street. From this 15 floor, I could see people walking on pedestrian area in Mega Kuningan. I could only see the move of their mouth, felt like observing fish inside aquarium. Whilst stuck in quietness, I could hear the murmur of my heart and my life imagination came out vividly. I let my mind brought me to the sky, as far as my eyes can take me.

I felt peacefulness. I just started the week with passion to think positively and let love guide my life. A thought that when I say something bad to people, I'm actually torturing my self. A thought that we can share the love everyday, give it to sadness and turn it into joy; share what we have when people really need it. I felt positive and it created energy. It was happiness that I felt, and I was grateful for the feeling. I just want to be happy and I felt it in 30 minutes of peaceful moment in nursery room.

Next month while I'm in China, I will be turning into 27. I feel becoming an adult with all responsibility. I feel so lucky for the life I have in hand. I feel great. I feel blessed. For the family I love. For the girlfriend I have. For great friends I meet everyday. And for God has given me one more day to live. For one more breath to take, so that oxygen coming into my blood cells and burnt calorie into energy. I feel energy in my minds. I feel love lives in my life.

While I see my life is great so far, I see my journey still needs billions of miles of bumpy roads and frankly I'm excited to see how far the dream can take me, just as far as my eyes took me whilst standing awkwardly in nursery room. And yes, in 27 years if you have seen the world, in the future you can see the universe. At least that was what I learn from my mother's birthday celebration last Saturday.

My mom is turning into 50 last week. Two weeks before mom entered my room whilst I was in front of my notebook. She said she wanted a small birthday celebration with closest family and some friends. As son who wants to see her happy, I fully supported the idea. It's duty of a boy who once spent several years back far from home. I used to live in Bandung for 4 years and in Sumatra for 2 years and it was just simply great having life back in Jakarta. Mom always supported me in those 6 years, and I'm really grateful to have love like this. When I tried hard to get my degree for better life in the future, mom was the one who bought me shirts and anything needed as student, because she understood I could not afford to buy. Every month, mom used to visit Bandung to see me, long before Cipularang free-way existed. Mom once cried of feeling tortured by overwhelming tasks of a mother and a business woman; you will know what I mean if you were me, and you wake up in your lazy 4-am-morning to see her start working in the kitchen alone. How lonely she felt, I guess. Ever since, I felt the love of a mother always lays within her, and so do mothers in the world. Shortly, I felt great having a great mother, and a small 'yes' turns into a birthday celebration. Is she happy? I guess so. Surrounded by people, singing and dancing, she looked happy. Not only my mom, the guests felt that way too; including my grandma who was once diagnosed having diabetes, almost gave her life up and got one of her legs amputated, now happiness was injected into her heart. At least that was what I could see from his dance in the midst of normal people. I love you grandma.

After all, it's happiness that we need in life and it's just inside us. We sometimes just need conscious move to make it manifested in our life.

In the hug of happiness and I hope you get the bigger one, everyday.

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