Saturday, June 27, 2009

Simple thing that changed life forever

Yesterday someone from business partner helped to move through an issue coming unexpectedly. Rather than punishing me for mistake I did, she showed her kindness to forget and helped me to solve it. So I felt so lucky yesterday and thought that life is still full of people with big heart to forgive and forget.

That helped me to forgive another business partner who has brought so much pain in my daily life lately, last week or so.

Living attitude of gratitude is how to see things positively rather than many negatives you see everyday.

Rather than being depressed thinking about suffering he brought to me, I chose to think that I still have work to do, get paid by Mr. Awesomeness and can still buy lots of things to enjoy life. There are many people there who lost job or many more who don't like their job. So again, being in a problem that he brought in, I still feel that I'm lucky.

Recently, THAT teaches me to never forget to look down - to keep self to stay on the ground. She is a woman from my business partner. No, her level is not that high nor her appearance isn't special. She's just a normal woman with vein and smile in her face. She always helps to support work I'm doing and she always did.

A conversation with her in a phone call has changed my life forever. She works in Ancol and her home is in Depok. She has been using public transport to office and I put my sympathy on the way she struggled with that and her passion to keep it up. Many times she had problem along the way, you can imagine how crazy public transport in Jakarta, particularly the train system.

To know I ever hurt her once with my attitude and humiliated her, I wish I could go back to the first time I met her.

It seems like THAT is trying to teach me to never forget to look down and see people around. The simple conversation over the phone call changed my life forever.

Do you know that simplicity in life can change the way you live forever? Have you ever once felt that a person has changed YOU?

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What do you let go of for today?

To let go things is to being completely open and surrender to changes, accept them the way they are and move forward. We are good in planning but somehow life doesn’t move according to our plans. We are burnt, somehow, when world moves against us.

Do you know how does it feel to become a control freaks? I AM control freaks. As a perfectionist, I will plan things the way it should, in detail and full of what-if scenario. Many times it was good, but somehow it was just too much, making me burnt out and nervous. World seems to move against me, that’s the time I felt negative.

There are ghosts who always walk around Mr. Perfectionist and can’t just leave them. When things you love so much in life are just like ecstasy in your life, and you become completely dependent to it; they are completely happy. That so-called ‘worries’ ghosts call their friends, Mr. Pessimist, Mr. Disbelief, Mr. damn-can’t-make-it and Mr. Negative, to sing along in your mind and as result, you just can’t sleep.

You tried to blame it to Mr. too-much-energy who keeps you wide awake at night and Mr. Masturbation comes into your mind and seduce you with Ms. Fake Jena Jameson. You end up the night keep thinking how it goes tomorrow.

Well, don’t ask me if I like it. I hate that feeling.

Being on the roads, I felt like attending university of life. It teaches me how to let go things and life is just as simple as letting go of controls. I love being on the road where I could let go everything: where to sleep, what to eat, to whom I should talk to and where feet would take me.

Thinking of being back to the roads of awesomeness. I may need to let go of precious one.

What was the precious thing in life you let go of?

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Sunday, June 21, 2009


We can only be a change agent to the world if we have abundance in life. In the contrary of living in scarcity, we live happily, have a completely limitless positive energy and attract power of universe -who listens to every prayer word by word- to come to our life.

Take a look at empty glass. Water fills it and it will come to a moment, when glass is full of water, being abundance. That's the perfect example of it.

When abundance comes to life, there's no other option but to share it to the world. And I feel blessed to have met some people who are really happy in life no matter what. They're just the best teachers.

Living in abundance is a result of living attitude of gratitude. It IS the process - be thankful for whatever happens in life; for whatever we have, clothes we wear, food we eat, air to breathe and even as simple as having shook butt in karaoke room with fellow couchsurfers.

And that process leads to ultimate goal of living in abundance.

The logical explanation of this is really simple. When we are living attitude of gratitude, our mind is creating energy. This energy is the source of balance vibration in our body cells (I hope you got physics subject in high school. If not, let me tell you that every atom indeed vibrates anytime naturally, we can't just see it).

When we are positive, the vibration is synchronized throughout our body to create melodic synchronization. In contrary, when we are angry or feel ungrateful, we feel imbalance - heart pumping too fast, mind is unfocused and our words are unstructured. Those are the results of imbalance vibration in our body cells.

The balance vibration in our body is like a prayer that attracts universe to act the way our body asks them to do. And we get the output as WHAT our mind thinks.

That's why people living attitude of gratitude can live in abundance. They have no option to keep energy within, but to share it to the world.

Have you ever felt hyper-positive and felt abundance? Share here so we feel your energy!

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sorry Mr. Emails to kick your ass to deleted items

I do believe that happiness lies in the simplicity of life. Life can be very overwhelming with all to-do-lists, emails and instant messaging popping out every second. We lost personal connection with people and more importantly, we don’t communicate with ourself and universe the way we should. That’s the time we may need to think about simplifying our life.

I have tons of idea in life, both personal and work, and I do love them. I join mailing lists, work for Mr. Awesomeness where I get around 100 emails everyday and yes, I use blackberry – thanks to notifications popping out every minute. Many times I feel overwhelmed and I just have no energy even to see the screen.

Now, most of the time my inbox is empty and there are just some emails left in ‘pending items’ folder. Life is much simpler and happier ever since. Rather than having many unread emails in inbox, I prefer decide fast what I should do to them; responding immediately, delaying and scheduled them for next day, or, oh yea, deleting them even without reading the contents.

There are some tips, which work for me so far, to simplify our emails life:

  1. See your emails and decide which ones to delete. Half of emails are unimportant, junk, irrevelent - important for people but unimportant for us. The last one may be confusing; should we really respond them? For me, if people just send it once and forget to follow up, it isn’t really important thing for them. So, just wait until the third email and do respond. It may be important for them and for you too.

  2. Read fast the rests and decide; respond immediately, archive or put them in pending items. Some emails need a quick answer while others need lots of work before clicking send button. I usually put them in pending items.

  3. Schedule pending items for the next day, whenever we’re ready. This ensures we don’t miss important emails to respond.

Warning: those tips may not be applicable to your boss’ emails and ones from Ms. Jena Jameson - they are just too important to be kicked out.

Happy living in solitude!

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

What Would You Do to Change the World Today?

I used to think that small thing would never change one’s life. I was raised with influence to focus on big things and just pick important things. Somehow, neglecting details and becomes insensitive. The fact is, when we practice it in every single thing in life, we forget the power of small things that can change the world, or at least one’s life.

In living attitude of gratitude, which has been tough journey with ups and downs, I start a very small thing that can change one’s day lately: sending ‘thank you’ note for what people do in my life, even if it is as simple as inviting me to join lunch with them.

As first, it was quite weird to write simple words ‘thank you’ in my email. Sometimes I don’t feel comfortable with sentimental things and I thought it was hard thing to do.

I did it to one of my friends and to see comment I got, “Your email has made my day after a very long day with meetings, issues and transitions!”, I felt fulfilled.

To touch one’s life in a single day is a big contribution to the universe and you may be the world for them that day!

Happy living attitude of gratitude!

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Cafegratitude Session: Things We Think About But Do Not Say

I read this article in my cafegratitude session and it is about true to yourself. Many times we're just afraid to say something. We think about something to say, but it stops in our mind. And to be fair, sometimes we need to be fair to ourself, listen to him/her and let the higher you come out from fake life. It's real life and it's just no wrong to express how we feel. And the first thing to do is to be mindful. Happy living attitude of gratitute!

What would happen if we started being honest with ourselves about what we really want?

What if we started being ruthlessly real? What if we actually said the things that we think about, but are afraid to say?

Our egos may shrink and squirm, afraid to face reality as it is; afraid to bypass all the pretense; afraid to confront the shear nakedness of authenticity.

But maybe if we could evade the grip of our ego-based fears, we could embrace unfiltered, unmediated reality.

Maybe, just then, we'd start to come alive.

When I speak of open, authentic honesty, I mean being truly connected to your higher self. Not the ego-dominated self, but your spirit, (or whatever word you'd like to use, the word is not important). When you're tuned into this source that is bigger than your puny ego, your living from a state of unadulterated awareness.

When you're acting from this state, you're not thinking about whether what you're doing is right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate. You act completely naturally, unafraid to express yourself authentically and freely. You're not afraid to tell someone how you really feel or ask for something you need. It's from this place that you experience bliss, because there is no ego holding you back from it. There is no hesitation when the ego is not present.

So how do you get into this state of flow and uninhibited movement?

Here are the three simplest and most effective things you can to become more conscious, and in turn, more authentic.

1. Practice mindfulness. This is the most important aspect of acting authentically. If you're not being mindful, you lose awareness of your ability to determine whether you are acting reactively or if you are acting from your authentic Self. I have to admit, remaining in a position of persistent mindfulness is not an easy task. This is not something you will master in a day, a month or even a year. But you can practice, and the more you practice the more it will be easy to remain mindful. The way to practice mindfulness is to simply center your focus and attention on whatever you are presently doing or experiencing. Easy to describe, difficult to practice.

2. Use reminders to help you stay mindful. There are a lot of mental triggers (or anchors, in NLP terms) you can create to prompt you to return to mindfulness. One great trigger is remembering to be mindful every time you see a red light at a stop light; or just every time you come to a stoplight, green, yellow or red. I have a bell on my bike that I ring when I'm riding to help remind me to be mindful. Another good and more permanent reminder is getting a tattoo somewhere you can easily see to make you mindful. If that's not your thing, you could have a bracelet or ring that you've chosen as a sacred symbol to help remind you to be mindful.

3. Practice daily meditation. There is no substitute for consistent, daily meditation in aiding your facility to remain present. The best thing about meditation is it also allows you time to actually listen to yourself. Most of the time, we're constantly talking to ourselves and we never take the time to listen. During the practice of silent awareness, we have the opportunity to listen to our thoughts and feelings, and in doing so, we'll be better equipped to remain mindful when we feel pulled into unconscious patterns. The most important thing to do is start small. Practice meditating for 5 or 10 minutes each day before you go to sleep or after you wake up. Don't be hard on yourself if you feel your mind isn't quieting fast enough, or if you think you're not good at meditating. If you remain diligent, your mind will eventually get tired of listening to itself babble incessantly.

The more mindful we become, the more we increase our capacity for action that is stripped of pretense and duplicity.

When we're completely authentic, we're no longer afraid to speak and act in meaningful ways. We're not afraid to tell someone how we truly feel. We don't shirk when faced with the choice of either acting from integrity or slipping into cowardly ego-based decisions.

Maybe if we started saying the things we think but do not say, our lives would have more meaning.

I think then we could grasp what it means to really be free.

Maybe then we'd realize the true meaning of liberation.

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Cultivating An Attitude of Gratitude

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” -Meister Eckhart.

If I have 24-hours time examining which part of my entire life I feel so grateful, I choose ‘being born’ as the supreme list. Why? Simply it’s the best thing that happens in my life. I don’t really care what story and personal legend I may bring into my graveyard, but being born and alive are the best thing to be grateful for. And I am thankful to God and my parent for the day of awesomeness came into life.

It’s been almost 3 months since I committed to cultivate attitude of gratitude for everything I have in life. There were ups and down until today, and there has been a big challenge for my faith of being gratitude last month. I failed to encourage myself several days and if only I have black magic, I may have turned myself into cosmic fish to fly away to Andromeda to get out from everything. I don’t regret for those days; I’m just human and having humanness is normal after all.

Looking at those mentally suffered-days, I feel grateful that I’m still a happy person today.

We live in the society where we’re conditioned to always be striving for more; for bigger and better things. There should be the best for everything and we just try so hard to stay on top. For me, it’s a good thing – it has been waking me up to think and do better things everyday. But sometimes there’s just no ‘enough’ for it. And eventually it leads to ungrateful attitude, whether I realize it or not.

Last week I was back to the beach to be back to awesomeness. Instead of being a beach bum with Daisy, I was sick in almost entire of my vacation last long weekend. I needed to let go the best holiday I imagined before departing to Bali. The surfing plan was gone. Places to go are just in the head, never came into reality.

Though it wasn’t perfect, I still feel awesome to have felt sickness in isle of gods.

Morale of the story? Well, it’s just hard to complain having an imperfect vacation whilst millions of people out there even never have chance to have one. It’s hard to not-being-grateful for the small pain I had just in my room while I know the pain I felt eventually did not make me die. That universe still gives fresh air to breathe and heartbeat to stay alive. That my trip ended up safely back to Jakarta in the midst of Hercules crash news on TV. So I have millions of reasons to stay grateful for anything and it keeps me alive!

In the land of awesomeness; cultivating attitude of gratitude.

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The Day God Performed Miracle

It was my last day in China and I was ending my 12-days backpacking trip. The flight was planned to be in the afternoon, back to Kuala Lumpur for another flight a day after to Jakarta. In that morning, I was on the train from Beijing to Tianjin, the city where I would be departing to KL to disturb Irawan's peaceful night. And there I was, escaping from Chinese crowd in the station with big backpack on my back and small one on my chest.

I thought it would be great idea to enjoy some places in Tianjin before heading to the airport. I really had no idea which bus to take, so I asked some people. I definitely knew that I would need to ask many people before an Angel took me to a person who could speak English. If Leonardo DiCaprio said TIA for 'this is Africa' in Blood Diamond, I called it TIC - 'this is China'! Don't remind me times I struggled tried speaking with Chinese in a very cool language; monkey-styled communication.

That boy is about 15 years old something. He wore school uniform. I thought he was angel sent to help fake Chinese visiting his country. I showed my LP, asking which bus to take heading to Carrefour in the center of the city. From there, it should be just close to everything I wanted to see in Tianjin. And he took me to a bus, helped me to put my big backpacks into the baggage. Then, I said, "Xiexie! Zaijian!"

I enjoyed my time in the bus. Next to me, a woman who seemed uneasy with her traveling time. I had no idea what she was thinking, but I was just doing my things; reading LP, calculating small amount money left in my pocket and tried to look at some pictures in my camera.

On the aisle, old Chinese people sitting on chairs. It was so full that you could hardly walk along the aisle. What interesting was, Chinese people know that they might not get seat on the bus, so they brought their own chair. Weird, but that happened.

I put earphone tried to look cool and enjoyed my last day in China on the bus. But then I felt strange. The longer it was, the less people I saw on the road. It was like the bus heading to somewhere I didn't know. Tried to ask woman next to me, she shook her head. "Not another monkey-styled language." I thought.

I tried look cool, but the bus was on a highway with so many trucks on the road. I tried to look at signs on the road, but hell yeah, all were in Chinese. I knew I was heading back to Beijing again, from one of signs I read. I mumbled disbelieved for what happened this stupid thing.

I tried to look cool and asked driver to stop everywhere. And I stopped in the middle of freeway. Buses and trucks moved fast and I was with my backpacks on the road. That time I expected my black 1700SAA and Mr. Jo were there, but yea, I was just dreaming.

Frankly to say, I wasn't afraid that time. Thanks to billions of time I did stupid things and got lost, slept in KLIA missed flight to Jakarta and became victim of bad AA flight arrangement that I slept in McD LCCT KL. Instead of worrying things, I just lifted up my right hand and raised my thumb asking for help, hitch-hiking sort of. If there was opened-container truck passed and stopped, I would have been having seated on the back and enjoyed my first lovely hitchhiking trip. But then a crap taxi stopped and tried to mumble in Chinese I didn't understand.

"I want to go to Tianjin airport." Says me, trying to be as clear as possible.

"岑的等。。。 bla bla bla!" He said.


Well, everything didn't work. Every hero has last weapon; so I have my yadayadayada. And oh yea, monkey-styled communication was even better than English. That was the day God performed miracle.

And it cost me another 80RMB to the airport, the balance money I had in my pocket.

Flying back to KL and hoping to see Mr. Mao again cumday!

Homey Road

I am a person who usually needs lonely time when I really need to think about something important in life. Getaway sort of and doing a contemplation. Dr. Manhattan of Watchmen escaped to Mars when people on earth blamed him for something he never did. He was destined to be destroyer agent for people on earth and on Mars, living as fugitive; he realized that love exists in his cold and dead heart. Lately he came back to earth just to be blamed for universal truth. Moses, the father of nations, ascended up to Mount Sinai to receive the law of God. Sinai that time was the tallest of all the mountains in the country, terrible and inaccessible. But he believed that God spiritually dwelt there. And He climbed up and got the basic Law of God. More interestingly in Paulo Coelho’s Alchemist, Santiago, a boy living in Spain who used to be a shepherd, did a pilgrimage to Egyptian pyramid to look for hidden treasure. He traveled to taste the sweetness ad bitterness of life to meet the Alchemist who could transform metal into gold. For me, the journey Santiago did was very personal, that he found a truly Santiago and created his personal legend. Not hidden treasure nor Fatima was the center of the story, but how he did pilgrimage for his own life.

I am on the road, somewhere on the inner Jakarta freeway, enjoying my lonely time whilst looking at the sunset. It’s just rare to see the sun clearly months back. And it’s just good to have dry season that I can see it hanging on there beautifully, clearly that I am hypnotized to stay for an hour.

Road is my home.

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Monday, June 15, 2009


I look up at the sky. The sky is dark. I try to look at the stars. The stars are far, unreachable. I am standing outside my house, try to imagine if I were an alien flying to Andromeda with a mission. It's to make a big bang so that the light of it falls upon the earth. And it will never happen.

Sometimes life is just full of imagination but it never really turns into reality. It's series of failures, sadness and stupid things. And we still want to live in the world just because we believe there are tons of happiness along with suffering and vain.

I hope UNIVERSE hear my prayer.

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For All Women Men Love

Take this writing from Paulo Coelho's "By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept", the definition of love here is completely beautiful. And it's for all women who men love. I do think the best creature who can feel and live with it is WOMEN.

"Love is like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day, you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes, and forget them for three hours.

But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love."

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Every Journey Should Have an End

Sitting on seat 004, on April 14, 2009 in the train Beijing - Tianjin and singing Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours"

"I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans
and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love

Listen to the music of the moment people dance and
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved
loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate, our time is
This is our fate, I'm yours..."

I'm in the train departing from Beijing to Tianjin, enjoying my good time here. It's a very comfortable train. After putting my big backpack at the back of the train, I put myself on the seat, in the midst of Chinese people talking in their language. Now I'm feeling like I'm a stranger, but in two days I'll be home. I just love the feeling, for I will be meeting my closest people again and bring stories to tell. And every journey should have an end.

Looking back to 11 days I was in China, I got priceless lesson. From the sacred places I visited. From the people I met along the way. From the views I saw with my eyes. And from the journey itself. Just like "I'm Yours" said, we're just free if we look up at our calendar. It is us who decide what color to put on our calendar; not our boss nor our job. It's not other people who create our life path. And what we need to do is just discover what we really want to do in life, end in mind in Steven Covey's terminology, and just do it. If you want to do something, the time is now. Don't grow old with regret that you didn't do what you really wanted to do in life. Better say sorry than doing nothing. And it's a pilgrimage after all, when you're doing your dreams.

This is end of the trip that will leads to another starts and I just can't wait to see what best in life I would see in the coming years.

My last two days in Beijing was awesome. It was more relaxed days as I just want to spend days without any rush. And those two days were just as relax as my host, Aaron, an American guy who used to be a soldier, fisher, bartender and farmer. He is just a perfect host for my lazy days and he has everything you need as a great host. And the great thing is he tried and learnt many things in life, make it colorful. The conversation just flown easily, from the discussion about our life, politics, religion, dreams until our couchsurfing experience. He's just simply a blast!

Now it's time to leave.

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It's My Birthday

Written on April 13, 2009 in a very comfortable bed in the east Beijing. Aaron’s apartment.

My life is a series of changes I can say. First, I moved to Jakarta where I felt so nerd that I didn't really have close friends. Maybe they thought I was just a boy from village who wasn't really into fun things they did. Another big change was when I decided to pursue my dream: taking college to prestigious university in Indonesia. I worked so hard to get what I wanted and got it. The cry of my mother was a very melancholic start when I moved my ass to Bandung. Ever since, I felt life was full of changes and it really made me more mature and independent. It was great. Many hard times but it was just something needed in life. Something which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Four years ago I started working in Sumatra, where I really decided to start traveling. It was so fun to see places I never imagined existed before and met so many people along the way. It's one of the greatest discoveries in my life that I really valued traveling. Ever since, these feet just never stopped exploring and I do hope I still have years to see more.

Today is my birthday. It's the first time I celebrated my birthday outside Indonesia. I don't have closest friends here by my side. No birthday cake or candles to blow. No party and alcohol. No hugs and kisses. There are just some messages from the very closest people appeared my blackberry. Aaron already slept and I chose not to tell him that it is my birthday. I just want to know how it feels to celebrate birthday with just me and myself in the room.

And it feels great. It's different and personal.

I'm 27 now and I have done many things in life, but there are monstrous amount of things I still need to do and I just don't want to stop.

A month back I didn't really have plan to have my birthday in China. I planned to travel between 4 to 12, but the route wasn't simple that I needed to extend it until 15. It's not ideal but I know that it's not a coincidence after all. There must be reason behind that. And the lesson I got is that we should not be too attached to something.

The lesson is really simple. When we are too attached to something in a way that we keep thinking about that every single minute, we are actually building brick wall blocking our self to the world. When we try too hard to look good, we may not get the happiness enjoying the world. We keep thinking how people think about us, if they are talking about the way we dress, and if our Maybelline make-ups is too much or too plain.

There's no wrong to look good, but something too much will just build barriers for us to enjoy the world. And it happened for my birthday. The universe wants to teach me that it's just birthday, yes I'm turning into 27, it's special, but it should not be barrier to see the world, enjoy it and taste flavors that it has. Although I have no all pleasure I might get if I was in Jakarta; dinner with closest people, birthday cake and presents, but I feel grateful to have only me and myself in my birthday. It's very personal.

Hoping that I will keep doing my dreams in the years to come.

It's time to sleep now, for tomorrow will be another great day...


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Good Osgood

In Lama Temple on April 11, 2009. Feeling the beauty of sacred place.

This morning I woke up a bit late after having a night with beers on the table and fun talk with Mr. Osgood and Sasha. I did set-up the alarm, but the alcohol just kept making me sleep. And when I left apartment, it was been too late. I couldn't make Great Wall trip to Badaling. Elsa, an Indonesian girl who traveled also to china messaged me that I might be able to take a day tour a day after. Well, it doesn't really bother me since sometimes this kind of thing happens when I travel. And anyway, I will have another 1 day tour to more authentic and challenging spot of Great Wall; Simatai and Jinshaling spot.

I'm in Lama Temple now, northern part of Forbidden City. It's just a quick walk from Yonghegong station of subway line 2. It's Beijing's most magnificent Buddhist temple; beautiful rooftops, stunning frescoes, magnificent decorative arches, incredible carpentry and a very nice museum telling me how's the history of Tibetan religion. Compared to places I visited yesterday, I'm more into place like this. There's a story to tell.

I can feel the peacefulness in the midst of many people here. I can see Chinese people praying, from young to old people. They have praying sticks on their hands, bow down on their knees and move their mouth murmuring a prayer to gods. And it's just so beautiful that the universe starts changing the weather into cloudy and it's a bit cold now.

I've been traveling to some places in the world and I see many people doing many things in different ways and I can say there's one common thing exists; they just want to be happy. Old people did choir with full instruments somewhere in Yuyuantan Park, Brad Osgood with his bike and computer life (he's proud to be bike geek anyway), a 40 something woman trying to sell dumpling with loud voice; they just want to be happy for their life after all. And it's just so good to see people doing those things to keep themselves happy. And small thing is a never small thing after all if they are happy with it; even it's just as simple as collecting stamps or pig dolls.

Feeling lazy and grateful to surf Brad's couch.

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